Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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