): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
