My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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