just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
