why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
