6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
