I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize