Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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