Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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