"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
