he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
