my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
