And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
