Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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