Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
