a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
