Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
