Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
