It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize