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First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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