A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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