Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
