Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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