Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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