The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
