I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize