There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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