There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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