Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
