I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dear god my vagina.
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