Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We left an ass print on the piano.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
