she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
is it fun? or sober?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
