Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
