Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
