I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
