I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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