Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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