The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
