OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
