Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
