I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
