The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So vagazzling was a success
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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