Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
