No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
