I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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