Whod you bang
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
