Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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