He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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