I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
