First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
