True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
