I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
