"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
