SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
